Phish Fall Tour 2023: Nashville October 6th-8th

I keep forgetting to put this out, so these Phish tour stories are going to be a bit delayed.

Due to COVID-19 lockdowns, I had wound up spending several years not going to shows at all. Instead I embraced a part of me that had been stewing for a very long time with the furry community. After a bit of a personal crisis, I decided this eight night, 3 city tour would be my chance to return, and combine two things that had been essential to my own growth.

In the run up to this trip, I had started going through the motions of hyping myself before the tour, just like when I was 19, ten years ago.

10/6/23

Arriving at the Cleveland airport, I did not see any fellow heads, besides who I think may have been Peter Shapiro.


I made friends with the guy next to me, Mark, for this run as we had both bought the 3 day pass.

Night 1’s first set blew me away with the merging of Axilla Part I and II. Trey declared it “Best of both worlds”.

Then I heard my first Destiny Unbound since Super Ball night 3 (7/3/11), 12 years ago. That show in particular irreparably changed my the course of my life. It had been 47 shows since I had last heard it, all those years ago. 17 years old and front row at Super Ball, I had turned around during the piano part to see this giant fish made out of balloons rapidly approaching the stage. Stage staff did all they could to push it back, and when they did the crowd then tore it apart like absolute savages.

Think the guy in front of me was tripping on something, and he kept taking pictures of me. I eventually went up to him and said you can just ask if you want to take a pic, and I might have actually scared him. Another screamed “Back on the Train? That’s worth the price of the ticket alone”, Mark and I cracked up at this.

When they went into Torn and Frayed in the second set, I could tell from the first note. I cried. 12th grade me annoyed the shit out of my guitar class teacher with this one. Self aware of their rough start, “They’re a bag of nerves on first nights”. Trey’s strained gravely voice was evident. Completely sober, the man at points sounded like he was on helium. My thought at the time was that they should either Shut Up n Play Yer Guitar or play songs that primarily use the others as vocalists.

Set 2 opened with Gotta Jiboo which then beautifully segued into Oblivion like water from a hose. Absolute bliss of a jam. 21 minutes or so long. Flawless segue into Santos.

People assumed I was a wolf, a kangaroo among things. Some guy asked if I was a dog faced boy and I rolled my eyes at him, though there was no way for him to tell, I think it’s funny because I’m neither a boy nor a dog. I’m a doe. Feel kind of bad though.

Roaming Broadway after the show with Mark, I realized just how much in the south I was while wearing my custom pup mask and edgy shein dot com occultist garb. Priceless reactions. Glad I had made a friend to keep me safe. Must note I had never seen nitrous on the scene just this rampant.

We eventually found a shakedown parking lot, and had a very uncooked burger I dubbed the “covid burger”. Halfway through on the ride home I told him I was trans, which I had already assumed he knew. He didn’t, but he was super cool about it. Just was happy to have a friend. Walked me to my sketchy hotel room because I didn’t feel the safest there at that hour. Made an ally overnight. Dudes rock.

Gross ass picture of uncooked wook covid burger below.

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10/07/23

Phish’s 2001st documented show started with a ripping rendition appropriate Deodato cover, Also Sprach Zarathustra. I’d never seen a show open so hard and fast. It had took me 53 shows to fully appreciate CK5. The mood in the room had been set from the first note. It was as if they were going to tear the roof off. This then tightly segued into Gumbo. I had thought initially thought this was some sort of tribute to the recently passed Jimmy Buffet as he had covered this song for a benefit album.

Followed was a bust out of the Del McCoury tune Beauty of my Dreams was so happy to hear this one. This followed by another blessing of a newer tune, Mull. Solid playing all around. Dirt is a gem. Just a tight first set in general.

Always a fan of About to Run. Really hits home for me now more than ever. Last year, intense trauma caused me to relapse. Thankfully I am surrounded at shows by Phellowship folks at setbreak. On lot I often feel like I’m staring down temptation in the eye. I see exactly who I’ll turn into if I go back. I’ve wanted something more than just being a parking lot gremlin but at the same time, who knows how long we have till hell freezes over.

The set ended with a ripping nearly 19 minute Split open and Melt.

Second set started with a great newer song, Life Saving Gun, off of Trey and Page’s new solo album, January. Smoothly moving into Sand, I got to say, tight Phish is my favorite kind.

“Did I forget, forget to mention Memphis” the redheaded goober almost missed the lyric somehow. I thought that was funny. Damn neat 16 minute Cities transitioning into a slow Llama, again as if water. What a treat. Every night would further prove to as why I should continue to see them. Kind of rolled my eyes at I Always Wanted It This Way until it grew legs, topping at about 12 minutes long.

Bug always reminded me of the final, title track of Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy) by Brian Eno.

I had went to the Phanart events on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Met a friend I hadn’t talked to in years. He had thrown me a shirt during the Miami 2014 run that I wear as a pajama shirt to this day. One of the bands playing the event played a bluegrass cover of Corrina by Taj Mahal and I had really felt it. That was a tune I hadn’t heard Phish play since I had just turned 18. SPAC 2012.

Dogs were kind of weirded out by the mask to say the least. One barked. A pitbull was cautious. I took off my mask because I wanted to blow his mind. He remained cautious. Glad there was a shakedown of sorts. Figured out pretty fast that Nashville was sketchy for a girl like me to do alone.

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10/08/23

Night 3 started off with Buried Alive. I just knew we were in for a treat. Segued into AC/DC Bag and then Free. Sightless Escape is a tune they need to do a lot more often. Would fit in so well with the jam-centric newer material.

I will never be upset with an Undermind. Such a fun song. During Ya Mar, Trey called Page grandpa, and then to make up for it the next song was a Page tune, Beauty of a Broken Heart. Bathroom tune.

“hey stranger” has begun to grow on me a bit. Though I had felt as if the Mercy album it came from needed some outside help song-wise. Evolve is another tune I need to stew on for awhile.

The only song in the second set that was less than ten minutes was a bust out of Cinnamon Girl by Neil Young. Deep cut. I was happy to be in the room for that.

You Enjoy Myself is possibly my favorite Phish song. I feel at home immediately. It’s where my journey started with the Junta album. I was talking with Mark that I’d like to hear it before the show and he told me no they’re probably saving it for Dayton.

I had been calling for a Howling, so for that to be an encore I started howling. In hindsight I probably should have run around the venue. Manifested!

Afterwards nothing interesting was open for post-show munchies so we went to Wafflehouse where we met a couple of 1.0 vets. Very knowledgeable about Phish in general down to memorizing the dates of shows dating back to the late 80s.

Everything fell into place for this run. Eternally grateful I had Mark to protect and drive me around.

Big thank you to the five or so people from Bluesky who stopped by to say hey! And of course, I must credit the lovely Violet for helping with editing!

Mangled

By Zephyr Mang

Art by Pavlovforgoths.com

The trail lingered wherever she went. Tentacles skidding, the beast lurched forward. What once was a deer; now a disfigured and corrupted beast. The thick strand trailed behind her, leaving a path of putrid slime and decay. Pushing onward; bringing death to all that crossed it. No mind given to the plant and flesh matter that crossed it. A poor cat; mangled and torn to pieces. Its bones were spit out and sank into the newly created corroding mire. Yet another unfortunate soul. The beast continued on its path instinctively.  She looked down at the ground, hunched. A weighted, chaotic, mass of antlers had grown over her head. She once tried, but the beast couldn’t save them from themselves.

An unstable lifestyle; littered by the souls that have passed and those who’ve lost their minds. Friends lost; although who she once called close. Naively, she let them hurt her. She didn’t know any better. They met their fate from the life of excess they lived. The songs of the sirens mesmerized them. It felt as if it all happened a lifetime ago. 

What had started as a muse reared its ugly head. Then the days turned to years, having contributed nothing. Wandering aimlessly, caught up in thought. The serum had long corroded essential circuitry. Bonds ruined that could have lasted a lifetime. Selfishly squandered. It’s too much for some. A burden too great.

She stared at the murk of the lake far below, faces and figures emerged through the distortions of her vision; the remaining sliver of sentience in the back of the multilayered abomination watching in horror. In a rare moment of lucidity she grasped a decorated piece of scrap metal from a tiny leather sack, heaving it at the apparition. The abomination jolted suddenly, swaying her head around, confused. Where was she again? 

Something warm grew from within, an awareness, starting from the heart. As it began to spread, her muscles physically stiffened. The muscle fused into a clay-like substance and quickly hardened. A bright light emitted from the cracks of the cocoon. With the little amount of control she had, she pushed herself head first off the cliff into the lake. 

A glorious, bright purple celestial, humanoid figure arises, soaring far above. The potent reminder of the sting of the wasp gone, sinking in the abyss far below. No desire to dwell in the past, only the wind brushing against her. The songs of the sirens below become clearer, embracing their true messages. She eventually finds her place in a flock of multi-colored light beings.